Sherlock Holmes Pastiches, or the Difference Between Men and Women

One thing I have noticed about Sherlock Holmes pastiches is that I can always tell who has written the one I'm reading.
A man tends to try his best to imitate Sir Conan Doyle, and he does it so well that it is obviously not Sir Conan Doyle. He also gives Watson rather a lot more to say than Conan-Doyle did; Watson has also been known to get in on the action a bit more than usual. Watson tends to be sharper than his canonical counterpart; much of Holmes's deductions aren't lost on the dear doctor, and he occasionally hears the other boot fall (for himself, of course, as Holmes has already figured it out) without more than two prompts from Holmes. Many of the men in a fellow's rendition of the stories will be able to comprehend what Holmes is saying with little assistance. A man's Holmes pastiche is also, unsurprisingly, rather bare of women; save, of course, for Mrs. Hudson, who makes very scarce appearances. If there is to be a woman at all in a man's pastiche, she is likely to have a submissive or minor part, being either the client, a creature of the most delicate constitution to catch dear old Watson's eye, or, once, the perpetrator of the crime. This instance was observed in the collection entitled "Sherlock Holmes: The Montana Chronicles" (John Fitzpatrick), when the Creature of the Most Delicate Constitution turned out to be a Creature Who Happens to be Gifted Not Only With a Delicate Constitution but Also With Some Cleverness. However, she was not acting alone in this plot; she was assisting her brother, I believe. I suspect a male author will attempt Doyle-isms to seem worldly and intelligent. He gives Watson a much thicker script and quicker thought processes to humble Holmes, to elevate himself (for Watson can be seen as an avatar for his readers; being particularly ordinary in many ways, save for the best ones, it would not be too difficult to replace Watson with one's own self. As Conan-Doyle created this extraordinary Everyman to be not quite as clever as Holmes, it seems natural that men who write pastiches should brighten him up a little.) The absence of women is, I think, an attempt to think like "they" did; "they," being Men of the Time, most likely did not think too much about women. I personally wouldn't know too well, but I suspect that ladies were often ornamental, or below a man's notice, depending on her station. When women make virtually no appearance whatsoever in a modern Holmes pastiche, one can deduce that the man who has written it thinks he is being very historical and incredibly accurate when he leaves the fairer sex out of his story. Little does he know that he is potentially leaving out a very interesting part of his story. Madmen.

When a woman writes a Holmes pastiche (and let it be known, I have read very few of these), she almost invariably writes a very strong female character into it. This character tends to be able to understand Holmes with little assistance; she may be streetwise and canny; most likely she is not very high on the totem pole. Given that I'm a little bit notorious for writing alter egos into my stories, I suspect that these characters are precisely that: channels for their authors. Women will perhaps write more of what Holmes or Watson is thinking (more likely Watson, for there are very few pastiches that I've read that deviate from the canonical narrative of the good doctor), and there may be a little less action, if you will. A woman may give Watson more to say, as well, though it may be more from pity (if you will) than "want" (also, if you will). Her story will perhaps be bursting with women, unless it's a short story, where there is no room for all those ladies. In this case, the woman will be very very strong and important. Holmes will, maybe, not act as cunning as usual, perhaps because the female author will put more time into the characters than the processes.
The lady author gives Holmes a [strong] female counterpart because she thinks Holmes needs a feminine perspective or somesuch rot.
5-6-13 DAMMNNNN this is actually weirdly insightful and not nearly as loaded with big funny derpy words as I was anticipating, three years later. Consider it published. But not finished. Maybe later. (Unlikely.) but there you go I guess.

Cue Weary Sigh

I get progressively more self-aware as the years go by and reliving my earlier attempts at pithiness become reliably more excruciating as I do.
The trick to being self aware is to not let anyone else be aware that you're aware.
That being said, I'm going to Europe in a ridiculously short period of time and have as a result reanimated this decomposing blog for the purpose of chronicling my trek across the Continent. It is an ongoing feat of necromancy which I hope will conclude successfully, much like another unrelated cybernetic endeavor I'm undertaking simultaneously. Cue the giggling and snorting.
If I begin to write in parliamentary procedure, reach out and give me a smart slap, because I've only attended one Model Arab League and as such have very little basis or entitlement to entertain motions to table debate on whether or not "biscuits" should be exclusively in reference to flaky buttery pastries or what would elsewhere be known as "cookies" and may I have a second.
I'll let you know. I still ramble and make excuses about the time. Only difference is, I am now aware of it.
*bellowing*
YOURS CORDIALLY
Holmesy

PS
pictures